From a boss who sends a Kakao message to a absent team member saying, "Get well soon because you're not there," to parents who advise their children who are thinking about quitting their job, "It's natural that your work life is hard, so hang in there," most of the consolation surrounding us is such an empty echo or anger.

But is there another gift as valuable as consolation to a person who is disappointed. However, in order to exert power properly, it is important not only to contain sincerity but also to method.

Staying with us "Would you like a cup of tea with me?"

The first step above

is to be together. Just sitting next to you without saying anything gives me a lot of strength. A cup of tea is essential at this time. It not only breaks the awkwardness, but also relieves the tired feeling with the warm warmth itself.

Sweet cocoa is the best medicine for a particularly depressed opponent. The antidepressant ingredients in chocolate lower the level of cortisol, a stress hormone, and increase the secretion of serotonin hormones through sweetness, creating a temporary cheerful mood.

OpenQuestions "How are you feeling?"

Hard atmosphere to say what to say. But a simple question, "How are you feeling right now?" is enough. If you try to move on by saying, "It's okay," it's good to respond by saying, "Well, it looks sad to me, can you tell me?" If the other person refuses even though he/she asks again, it may be an indication that he/she is not ready to say it or wants to be alone. In this case, answer, "I'll always wait, so tell me whenever you change your mood," and wait.

Listening "That's why you were sad?"

The most important step is listening. The key is to focus only on the other person's experience, not hastily transferring emotions or stretching out your own experiences. Just expressing your emotions to the fullest will solve more than half. However, if you are consistent with too little reaction, you may misunderstand that you do not listen to the story. Therefore, between conversations, "My husband said something really harsh." So we're not talking right now, right?" It's necessary to confirm.

Sympathy  "No wonder it's hard"

It's a good time to open your mouth. "No wonder you're angry," "You must have been really upset," and so on. In fact, the other person may not always say the right thing, so you may hesitate to sympathize or your mouth may tickle because you want to give advice. However, consolation is the main focus now, so it is okay to postpone advice. This is because, as everyone experiences, most people realize how wrong they have been.

Encouraging "You're doing well enough!"

It's good to specifically mention the opponent's strengths that can help you get through the current situation. According to a study by the Graduate School of Medicine at Pusan National University, positive words with good intentions have the effect of promoting plant growth rather than positive words delivered without intention. If there's nothing to praise, you can end it by saying, "I want to help as much as possible, is there anything you want me to do?"

Express with actions "Do you want me to hold your hand?"

If the negative mood does not subside even with the

conversation, physical contact such as hugging or holding hands can be the answer. If you’re embarrassed, put a smiley face and a note with a message to cheer up wherever the other person can see it. Listening to calm music, eating delicious food, watching happy movies, and taking a walk are also good activities for a change.